I was definitely this dog last week when I met a log in the water next to the aquarium at Coney Island, maybe 100 yards off shore. Now everyone runs into stuff in the water and it definitely wasn't my first time, but the thing is, the damn log didn't move! It was, like, stuck to something, or else it was a small lure-like appendage of something huge and inevitably terrifying! So, like any grown-ass swimmer, I let out some underwater shrieks and sprinted toward my nearest swim buddy.
